With Pablo Sandoval having posted to Instagram during the Red Sox game this past week, and getting punished for it, we wondered, who in the NFL can we expect to hear from during games this season on social media? Who would post? What would they post?
Tim Tebow: Isn’t this butt fumble video hilarious? Mark, you’re such a card. Ah, the good ole days with the Jets. Remember them well.
Brandon Marshall: Cutler, you watchin’ this? You see this catch I made? We up two scores now. Against the Patriots. The Patriots! You remember the Patriots, right? 51–23! Remember that? Man, get on NFL RedZone and check out this catch. Just like San Francisco last year, except Geno actually has a better arm than you, dude.
Jimmy Garoppolo: Do you believe this, game four and I’m starting against Tony Romo, one of my Eastern Illinois predecessors. Dude, all that aside, you’re mine and we are winning this game. I’ll show you what it means to be an Eastern Illinois Panther.
Greg Hardy: OK, Garoppolo, I’m coming for you. You are going down like a sack of Garoppolo-lo when I’m done with you. You think anyone on your offensive line can keep me out of your backfield? Yeah, you and the Patriots are going down and … crap, am I still suspended?
Adrian Peterson: Hello, Minnesota. I am here to play football today. Who we playing against today? Who cares? Just give me the ball and get out of the way. Bridgewater, at the line, if the call ain’t to me, I expect you to switch out of it or I’ll switch your ass. I ain’t gonna’ be here next year anyway. Hello, Dallas.
Rich McKay: OK team, here’s the deal. No more tweeting, texting, emailing or anything else-ing during games, savvy? We can get fined, suspended or otherwise punished (inappropriately, I might add) by the league if we do anything like that during a game. Got it? Good, and everyone please acknowledge reading this.
Tony Romo: I don’t believe this—Brady gets deflated and I have to play against this little twerp backup instead. What’s his name? Where’s he from? Eastern Illinois? What kind of crappy school is that? What division are they? What’s that? Some other good athletes went there? Yeah, name one.
Roger Goodell: Oh, hey Rich, Roger here. Did you know it’s the middle of the second quarter and you just hit “send?”
Jameis Winston: I don’t care if we’re losing 28–0, I found a place where the crab legs are ripe for the taking and I’m heading there right after the game. Pay for ’em? I’m Jameis Winston, I don’t pay for anything.
LeBron James: In case nobody noticed, I don’t have to say nothing to get my point across. I just have to scowl in the huddle. Oh wait, you’re talking about football? I’ll get back to you later. Besides, football doesn’t matter in Cleveland.
Jerry Jones: OK men, I know we’re not allowed to use social media during games, so I’m tweeting here to remind everyone of that. Stephen reminds me, in fact, that it’s the middle of the second quarter, so I shouldn’t even be sending this now. Where’s that damn son-in-law of mine? Get him over here to hit “send” for me so I don’t take the hit for this. What do you mean he’s cleaning my glasses?